Warren Buffett said, “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.”
Most of us would agree with Buffet’s line of thought, but that doesn’t make it easy.
When you are conditioned to live in the land of yes, no feels confrontational. It feels like a fight.
But no is the vanquisher of burnout.
We’ve been trained to say yes all our lives. School taught us to say yes, our parents taught us to say yes, our employers definitely want us to say yes, and we may even feel that we owe our family and friends yes at all times.
But too many yeses lead to a plate that’s piled so high with obligations that life becomes unmanageable. It can create a schedule that’s so full of pleasing other people that you barely address your own needs.
A balanced approach requires that you are ready and willing to say no.
Just say it
One of the best ways to do this is to learn how to say no in a way that feels comfortable for you.
No doesn’t have to be rude, but it should be clear.
“I wish I could help, but I can’t right now” does the trick quite well.
“I’m afraid I can’t today” is also a kind but concise way to decline a request.
Lastly, you can always just say ‘no.’
Finding the courage to say no accomplishes three amazing things:
- No creates space in your schedule to unplug and recharge
- It allows you to get in the flow of doing things that actually align with our current goals
- It helps you set boundaries with loved ones and colleagues
Saying no is a skill anyone can learn with a little practice. What could you benefit from saying no to right now?
For some people, it’s working out. For others, it’s reading, listening to music, or playing with the kids. You know you’re engaging in a sanctuary activity when time flies and you don’t think about your stresses once.
We all recognize this intuitively, but relatively few people make it happen. They think, “I wish I could do more of what I want, but I can’t find the time.”
They recognize the benefits of unplugging and engaging in their sanctuary activity, but all their other stressors get in the way.
The key to making the most of sanctuary is simple… schedule it.
- Decide how often you want to engage in your sanctuary activity
- Write it on your calendar and treat it with the same gravity that you would an appointment with your best client
- Because this IS an appointment with your best client… you
Keep these appointments and you’ll be surprised by how much easier everything else becomes.
