How can I use my authority without being perceived as authoritarian?

In my work with executives and managers, I’ve encountered variations of this question frequently. It’s a common scenario for thoughtful leaders who must make decisions that could adversely impact others.

As I reflect on those experiences, it strikes me that people aren’t as afraid of using their authority as they are of how they will be perceived once they do. So they identify themselves as the opposite. The fear of being labeled as overbearing or indifferent can inhibit effective decision-making.

However, the path to effective leadership lies beyond this common misunderstanding. It’s not the act of making tough decisions that earns resentment; it’s the disregard for the human element in the decision-making process.

And I understand why that happens. “Jerk bosses” often start out with the best intentions. They want to take care of people and do the right thing. But conflicts take their toll, and a kind of emotional scar tissue builds up. The leader begins to distance themselves as a form of emotional self-protection and unintentionally creates the very identity they were trying to avoid. They now treat tough situations with a distant, cold approach that alienates the very people they need to win over.

So the rest of us might make the assessment that the best way to escape this fate is to avoid using our authority at all. But authority isn’t the problem – the approach to using authority is the problem.

A superior path exists—one steeped in humanity.

Truth with kindness: I find that leaders vastly underestimate people’s ability to deal with bad news. The people who work with and for you are intelligent adults. Entrust them with honesty, laced with compassion.

Perspective Exchange: Every interaction we have with another person contains at least two perspectives. We do both parties a disservice when we think only of ourselves. We cannot influence another person by thinking about what we want – we have to spend a moment in their world. How would you feel if you were in their position? How would you want to be treated?

Embracing Humanity: Working for a company does not mandate speaking and behaving in a corporate manner. We are human, as are the people we work with. We have hopes, dreams, and fears. Abandon pretenses and corporate jargon. Interact on the human level.

The bridge between leadership and genuine connection is not built with authoritative bricks but with understanding, empathy, and unwavering respect for the tapestry of human experience.

One Question For You

How can I balance the necessity of tough decisions with the human element? 

Action: Develop a strategy that incorporates empathy and open communication when delivering tough decisions, focusing on understanding team members’ emotions.

Lead well!
Brian